After an awful day, at the beginning of freshman year, I sat at my desk under the lofted bed that was suspended about five feet in the air. Directly in front of me was the “get-out plan” I was devising to reassure my mom that I could have a fulfilling adult life without a college degree. Sitting there, I convinced myself that I’d made every wrong decision or that I had made no decisions at all. I was certain I had skated through life up until that very point and landed in a dorm room, seated at a desk under my bed, planning my retreat.
I never did make use of that “get-out plan.” I never withdrew from my classes. I never started the premature job search. Somehow, the puzzle began to fit together, and it finally clicked for me—if I wanted to survive the next four years of college, I needed to find a community. And where I couldn’t find it, I needed to create it. With the population of Black students at KU being only 4.41%, I knew the search for community would be difficult. It took time, and it tested me in ways I never could have imagined, but all the same, I have blossomed. Through the founding of KU Black Creatives Collective and my induction into Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc., I created the support system I so lacked during my first year.
As I prepare to leave these four years behind, similar feelings begin to bubble up. Have I made the wrong decisions? Have I made any decisions at all? This mixed-media collage is not only an attempt to answer these questions, but it also seeks to explore my connections and experiences here in this place that has shaped me. This collage consists of photographic works documenting the people I have come to know and love. It includes diary entries, letters, notes, and other ephemera that provide context to my experiences. It is combined with historical images taken here on campus that aim to show the viewer how Black college life at KU has both evolved and remained the same. This project is introspective and profoundly personal. It is a document not only of my existence but the existence of those around me, and it serves as a formidable reminder of the importance of community and human connection.
