Have you ever had days when you started to work on something but remembered that your laundry was piling up and there were dishes in your room? You might think, “Okay, once I finish these tasks, I can focus on this project.” However, as you begin doing your laundry and dishes, you notice that the counters are dirty and the dishwasher needs emptying. At some point, you forget the other things that needed to be done and find that you’ve spent your entire day doing household chores instead of completing the work that is due.
Out of Focus, In Focus is a photographic project that illustrates the chaotic nature of my mind caused by my ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). ADHD is something that many people struggle with and often misunderstand. This body of work is a form of self-portraiture, but instead of photographing myself, I use butterflies, the national symbol of ADHD, as a stand-in. The butterflies scattered on the wall are cyanotypes that have been layered with risographs to produce a red layer. The layers of colors represent my good days and my bad days. The good days are the butterflies with no risograph layers; my bad days are the combination of the cyanotypes and the risographs, along with just the risographed paper.
During my time with this project, one truth has remained at the heart of it all: that even in the midst of turmoil, there exists an enduring beauty in all we create. No matter the trials that seek to weigh us down, there is always grace to be found within the chaos.
